I told Max the cat that he needs to wait a few minutes before eating because his daddy has to post something to his blog. Poor little guy. He doesn't know how to tell time. The way he now lies on the kitchen floor, lethargic and despondent, I think he thinks I told him he'd never eat again.
Cats can't tell time and that sucks, but they can put their head on a pretty girl's lap and she won't call the cops or her big brother who is headlining an Ulitimate Fighting Championship card at Caesars this weekend.
I'd give up time telling skills for the feline superpower of unquestioned cuddling, but I don't always get my way.
And neither will Max. I'm going to bed now; he can eat tomorrow--maybe.
Note: No animals were hurt during the writing of this post. Though there are unconfirmed reports that Steakbellie chokes his chicken while reading Thurman Munson's bother. PETA is investigating.
10 comments:
Unfortunately I can confirm the chicken choking...and trust me it isn't pretty. I may never get that sight out of my mind....
I can only imagine the horrors, as I am scarred for life merely imagining you remembering it. I'm horrified as a tertiary source, is what I'm saying.
It's all about opposable thumbs, isn't it. This whole post is an ode to opposable thumbs. If Max had opposable thumbs he could feed himself. And if Steakbellie DIDN'T have opposable thumbs...
"Thurman Munson's Bother?"
I, too, feel a sense of abandonment.
February 13, 2007? Who can even remember such a long ago time? Did man walk upright, or did he smash at keyboards with a crudely constructed tool made of mammoth bones to express his primitive thoughts?
Was this blog once part of the Habsburg Empire? The years have been kind to neither. Look here, children, and know that once, this was a city on a hill in a mighty civilization, laid low by sloth and/or a "real life with actual responsibilities, you jerk."
There are unconfirmed reports that something bad has happened to Max.
Magic (my cat) has heard through the cat nip grapevine that something has happened. He's trying to get confirmation now.
The big fear is whatever has happened to Max has hindered Artie Lang's ability to write.
I'll post again when Magic can confirm the report.
I am happy to report it was just a false alarm. Max is fine.
Artie Lang, we're not so sure about. Max might have retaliated for this article and broken Lang's hands -- hench no new posts in a while.
I have Magic checking on that rumor now.
Didn't I see Artie on a ship somewhere holding up his opposable thumbs with a banner saying Mission Accomplished? No? Sorry, my bad.
After seeing Entourage this week, I see why you have been rather laxed in posting...
Get on the stick.
I truly miss Artie Lange.
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