I'd like to have several wives. Not for the sex, mind you. I can barely handle Mrs. Lange. I just want a set of spouses so they can talk with each other.
Artie isn't very good at the active listening thing, and I really don't like Grey's Anatomy, but feel I must watch it so me and da' missus have something to talk about Friday morning.
Give me a gaggle of girlies and they can meet each other's emotional needs.
Artie Lange just wants to be left alone. I want to watch TV, sleep on the couch, eat two pounds of pasta and finish my meal off with a pint of Vermonty Python ice cream. I'd like to stop bathing, stop shaving, and stop-up my neighbor's toilet.
Can't a guy soil himself without being judged?
7 comments:
Oh Artie. You're quite a catch!
Though your charmed lifestyle is almost as irresistable as your Cupid Nipples, I really don't understand how more wives will fulfill your simple needs. More wives would only place MORE demands on your full schedule.
Perhaps Mrs. Lange would agree that an entourage would be more valuable than extra spouses. You know... some needy girlfriends with a lot of problems, personal assistant, nanny, housekeeper, chauffer, personal chef, stylist/hairdresser, and of course: a gorgeous male masseur.
If this is beyond your household budget, the masseur will do just fine.
My wife and I are in love with being alone. Not alone together; alone alone. We only watch two shows together: Two and a Half Men and Ugly Betty.
What if Charlie tried to score Betty?
I have a story about polygamy, but I'll save it for some other blog...
One of the top things I look for in a partner (besides a pulse, a firm "no penis," and a very firm "no firm penis" rule) is their ability to leave me the f alone. Once, I lived with a woman incapable of such things, and as a result, I had to watch hours of vapid 20somethings compete in a series of Road Rules/Real World/Road Rules and Real World together as if that's f-ing different in the least challenges/TLC home fixin' shows because these were apparently windows to the most important aspects of her being.
Still, we didn't have to talk much, which was nice. And actually, I prefer our relationship these days, where we don't watch those shows together, live together, or talk to each other at all.
Kat,
I think Mrs. Lange would agree about the masseur thing. It should be pointed out that my love for her is boundless. I merely wanted to publish the last line about pooping myself.
Bert,
If you had several wives they could be called a bunch of bananas!
Pistols,
Happy Black History Month
Artie,
Dont put gas on a fire you cant tend.
Also, dont poop yourself, unless you really have to.
Don't poop yourself, and for Pete's sake don't poop someone else.
One of the things I like best about having a motorcycle with loud pipes is that my wife and I can be together, riding about the countryside, but we can't talk to each other. Communication is limited to pointing at the occasional odd-looking cow.
Post a Comment