Why I should be Tucker's Daddy
(Should Smelmoo and Tangentwoman both eat it)
Irresponsible parents that they are, Smelmooo and Tangent Woman have not made arrangements to care for their dear doggy should they die.
I want the job.
- Tucker will have a warm and friendly home with a fenced yard condusive for play.
- I have a bucket full of tennis balls in my garage--they are all his.
- The dog park is close to my home giving ol' Tuckie a chance to interact with other canines.
- LikeTucker, I can't spell (shared interests)
- Like Smelmooo, I promise to write emasculating blog posts about the sweater I knitted for Tucker.
- I don't have a dog named Tanya, Chris, or anything else that will cause people to giggle.
- I am a state-college graduate (Salt of the Earth).
- I am an Ivy League graduate (among the elite).
- I promise to spend quality time with Tucker as often as possible.
- On the anniversary (ies) of your death (s), Tucker and I will visit the cemetary and lovingly pee on your headstone.
- Rutgers liver snaps.
- I have no problem with another living creatures sticking its nose in my groin.
5 comments:
This is hilarious. It is hard to read in this blue... but HILARIOUS.
Thank you...
It is the colors of the New York Yankees. You of all people should appreciate a little yankee.
Very very funny, though you seem overqualified. By your standards, Tucker would have a much better lifestyle than mine.
P.S. I'm willing to mail my cat to you if things don't pan out.
kat -- that sounds better than what we have set up for him as well!
However... I have issues with him referring to Rowan as a "state school" -- That's Rutgers.
Mooo,
I didn't say, THE State University, I said a state school. If it isn't a state school then what is it? (I fear the answer).
Kat,
At this point in my life, I prefer cats. With three crazy kids taking up all my time, I have little to give to a dag. That said, should Smelmooo die I will happily bump a kid or two from his or her bedroom to give Tucker the life he deserves.
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