I wrote these letters for a pal. I'm not sure they ever saw the light of day, but think they are worth sharing. I'll post one a day. Enjoy!
The Honorable William Jefferson Clinton
William J. Clinton Foundation
55 West 125th Street
New York, NY 10027
Dear President Clinton:
In the 154 years since this great country was first formed, there has been only two great presidents: Benjamin Franklin and you. Allow me to introduce myself, I am MacWing, a competitor in Philadelphia’s 610am -WIP Radio’s Wing Bowl, a competitive eating contest scheduled for the morning of February 3, 2006.
More than 15,000 people attend Wing Bowl which is held at the CoreStates Center/First Union Center/Wachovia Center. I qualified for Wing Bowl by eating 2 pounds of Haggis in four minutes. Have you ever eaten Haggis? I imagine a worldly man like you has eaten Haggis. Perhaps you had it when you were a Road Scholar at Cambridge or at one of those State Dinners like the one in the movie The American President. By the way, do you like movies about the president? Which was the most realistic? Do you have a favorite? I love The American President. I think Annette Benning is really pretty and Michael Douglas is the type of guy I want to be when I turn 70.
Anyway, as part of Wing Bowl, I am allowed to have an entourage to enter the arena with me. It is a big honor since I am only allowed to have 10 people. I wanted to see if you wanted to join my entourage. Having a former President would be a real hoot. I imagine you would have to have the secret service with you, but I don’t think WIP would count those brave people as part of my group.
I know it must seem silly, for me to make this request, but like my wife tells our kids: you never know if you can do something unless you try. I figure I’d give it a try.
Thank you so much for your consideration. Sorry for the short notice but I just qualified.
Sincerely,
William J. Clinton Foundation
55 West 125th Street
New York, NY 10027
Dear President Clinton:
In the 154 years since this great country was first formed, there has been only two great presidents: Benjamin Franklin and you. Allow me to introduce myself, I am MacWing, a competitor in Philadelphia’s 610am -WIP Radio’s Wing Bowl, a competitive eating contest scheduled for the morning of February 3, 2006.
More than 15,000 people attend Wing Bowl which is held at the CoreStates Center/First Union Center/Wachovia Center. I qualified for Wing Bowl by eating 2 pounds of Haggis in four minutes. Have you ever eaten Haggis? I imagine a worldly man like you has eaten Haggis. Perhaps you had it when you were a Road Scholar at Cambridge or at one of those State Dinners like the one in the movie The American President. By the way, do you like movies about the president? Which was the most realistic? Do you have a favorite? I love The American President. I think Annette Benning is really pretty and Michael Douglas is the type of guy I want to be when I turn 70.
Anyway, as part of Wing Bowl, I am allowed to have an entourage to enter the arena with me. It is a big honor since I am only allowed to have 10 people. I wanted to see if you wanted to join my entourage. Having a former President would be a real hoot. I imagine you would have to have the secret service with you, but I don’t think WIP would count those brave people as part of my group.
I know it must seem silly, for me to make this request, but like my wife tells our kids: you never know if you can do something unless you try. I figure I’d give it a try.
Thank you so much for your consideration. Sorry for the short notice but I just qualified.
Sincerely,
XXX
PS. May I have an autographed picture?
3 comments:
Thats hilarious.
All ahil the Birdman. Maybe you can take a photo of me and the President and make me look pretty!
I can definately make the President look pretty.
Post a Comment