New Business Venture a Success!

So this chick named Iris comes to my studio. She's the quiet-type--not prone to offer eye contact or a warm smile. She seems special, though. So I give her a chance to do some "modeling." Besides, I like goth. Goth sells in my world of Internet porn.

I am a business man. I employ two men, one with an incurable itch in his private area; the other a 30-ish year-old who thinks he is a bartender and constantly offers people drinks. Most people would consider these two not worth hiring, but I won't give up on them, not even when Itchy's asthma kicks-in during taping and his panting is unwelcomely audible.

As Iris mumbles to herself, "I'm doing this for Stalebellie...I'm doing this for Stalebellie," (whatever that is!) I can't help but feeling good about myself. I love giving young women the opportunity for fame and fortune. I am a pretty good director, too. I gave Iris her cues for disrobing and diddling. Doing this right is more of an art than a science, but I seem to have mastered the technique. My guess is the upstanding citizens who pay to view my web-site-- all with jobs, girlfriends/wives, and clean keyboards--appreciate my contributions to helping young women like Iris.

I felt so good about myself when she left. I imagine I made her day...maybe, her week, month or year! Not everyone is cut out for this type of work, but Iris has that special it. She'll be back; I know it. Underneath that dyed hair and heavy eye-liner lies the soul of a true performer.

She probably put my business card by the phone and plans on calling me for more work tomorrow. That happened, I imagine, only after she went out and celebrated her new career by treating herself to dinner or a nice drink.

I kind of see Iris an a TGI Fridays person, maybe a Starbucks-gal. Either way I am glad I could make her happy. I hope she never forgets the feeling I offered her today. Just one more way Artie Lange helps make the world special!